The Hidden Cost of Holding It In: What Jackie Robinson’s Story Teaches Us About Suppressed Emotions
- sarahbeth44
- Mar 29
- 3 min read
Updated: 7 days ago
When we talk about Jackie Robinson, we often focus on his strength, his dignity, his unshakable composure as he broke baseball’s color barrier in 1947. But what’s less talked about is the private cost of that composure—the toll it took on his body, his heart, and his sense of self.
Robinson didn’t just make history with his athleticism. He made it by agreeing to an impossible expectation: that in the face of constant racism, threats, and public humiliation, he would not fight back. For three years, he promised to keep his head down, to swallow his rightful rage, to endure without defending himself. It was a strategy meant to open doors for others—but it came at an enormous personal price.
The weight of that self-silencing didn’t stay invisible. It showed up, quite literally, on his body. By the time he was in his early 30s, Robinson’s hair had begun falling out and turning gray. The chronic stress of being terrorized—and being unable to respond—showed itself in his health: high blood pressure, exhaustion, and ultimately, a life cut short at the age of 53.
The science now confirms what Robinson's body already knew: when we’re forced to suppress our emotions over long periods, it doesn’t just live quietly inside us. It accumulates. It leaks out in hair loss, autoimmune issues, anxiety, digestive problems, insomnia, depression. What we don’t say doesn’t disappear—it settles into the tissues of our bodies and the background noise of our nervous systems.
Many of us know what it’s like to live this way. Maybe not in front of stadiums filled with hostile fans, but in families, workplaces, relationships, or communities where the expectation was clear: keep quiet, stay small, don’t make it harder. Sometimes, survival has required us to bite our tongues, to smile politely while our insides screamed, to "be the bigger person" even when we were breaking.
And if you’ve done that—if you’ve spent months, years, or decades learning how to hold it in—you deserve to know that it wasn’t without consequence. You were adapting. You were surviving. And you are not broken for feeling the weight of it now.
What This Means for You
You don’t have to stay stuck in the patterns that once kept you safe.
If you recognize yourself in this story—if you know what it feels like to hold everything in until your body starts whispering (or shouting) for relief—there are ways forward. Here are some concrete, human ways to begin:
Name It Out Loud: Whether it’s with a therapist, a trusted friend, or even in a private journal, start by putting language to what you’ve had to carry. Suppressed emotions lose some of their grip when they finally have air.
Notice How It Shows Up in Your Body: Pay gentle attention to the places where you feel tension, fatigue, or discomfort. Your body is not betraying you—it’s communicating with you.
Practice Low-Stakes Expression: Start in spaces that feel safe. This could mean allowing yourself to cry when you need to, saying "that hurt" in a conversation, or expressing frustration without apologizing for it. Small acts of emotional honesty can begin to rewrite years of silence.
Reclaim Agency Over Your Story: You can’t rewrite the past, but you can decide how much power it continues to hold. Seeking therapy, setting boundaries, learning how to safely feel your own anger or grief—these aren’t luxuries. They’re part of reclaiming yourself.
Know That Healing Is Possible: The point of acknowledging the cost isn’t to create hopelessness. It’s to honor the truth of what you’ve survived and to remind you that you deserve something gentler now. Your story does not have to end in burnout, illness, or disconnection. There are paths forward that include rest, relief, and the full range of your emotions.
You were never meant to carry all of this alone.
If this topic resonates with you or you'd like support processing your experiences, I'm here to help. Whether it's this topic or something else on your mind, feel free to reach out. Sometimes talking things through with a professional can help bring clarity and healing.
Sarahbeth Spasojevich, LPC, MEd, MA, MBA, NCC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Connected Resilience, LLC
For scheduling: (804) 220-0388 (text/phone)
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